I sat down to make a post just to let you guys know that I'm still alive. But as soon as sat down to type I realized that for the first time in months I have nothing to say. No one has shown up at my home to hurt me. No supernatural occurrences have plagued my days or nights. The worst thing that has happened is that Zero is still making his vaguely threatening promises to come visit me and that doesn't even bother me much at this point.
It's very odd, this lack of fear. And it's worrisome. I can understand it. I faced down my worst nightmare brought to life and won. But fear is something that we need, it helps us to stay alive. And if I don't have fear to help me remember when to not do stupid things like shove a mirror in the not face of an Eldritch Abomination-
There was just a knock at my door. It is the middle of the night! And I'd be an idiot to not realize that anyone knocking on my door at this time of night is not coming over for tea and cookies.
Gods and goddesses, I don't want to fight anymore. But I'm not gonna hide from this either.
Be back later folks. Here's hoping it won't be from the hospital again.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Zero
Hello Zerosage! I saw your comment and felt that my response would work much better here.
I assume that you didn't start reading this blog until I made the mistake of discovering that you weren't dead and started trying to communicate with your Remnant persona, who by the way is MUCH more polite and pleasant then this aspect of you! Perhaps this would go much smoother if I could speak with Remnant instead?
Since I'm assuming the only thing you know about me is that I am female and your recent observations about us tend to make me think you don't respect us much to begin with, I would like to direct your attention to three specific posts that will show you something very very important.
These three men. All three of them have come after me. The two that tried to kill me are dead. And while it hurt my soul every time I had to defend myself, I won't let that stop me if you make the mistake of thinking you can put me down as easily as that poor girl, Kelly.
Do us both a favor before you come here. Make sure you really want to do this first.
I assume that you didn't start reading this blog until I made the mistake of discovering that you weren't dead and started trying to communicate with your Remnant persona, who by the way is MUCH more polite and pleasant then this aspect of you! Perhaps this would go much smoother if I could speak with Remnant instead?
Since I'm assuming the only thing you know about me is that I am female and your recent observations about us tend to make me think you don't respect us much to begin with, I would like to direct your attention to three specific posts that will show you something very very important.
These three men. All three of them have come after me. The two that tried to kill me are dead. And while it hurt my soul every time I had to defend myself, I won't let that stop me if you make the mistake of thinking you can put me down as easily as that poor girl, Kelly.
Do us both a favor before you come here. Make sure you really want to do this first.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Everything feels so strange right now. I’m at a hotel, got released from the hospital this morning. Not allowed to go back to my own house yet. It’s still considered a crime scene. On the plus side I was promised that the worst of the mess will be cleaned up before I am able to go back. It was so strange though. It was like they didn’t actually see what happened.
I guess its part of that whole perception filter thing. I never thought I would be using that phrase outside of discussing a Doctor Who episode, but my neighbor was asleep the whole time Tom and I were fighting and the whole time those crows were swarming, but he just happened to wake up after everything was done, look out his window, and see Tom’s body?
The cops too. They didn’t seem to really see what my house looked like. They looked right past the crow feathers scattered everywhere, the fact that every window was shattered, not just the one I had closed on Tom.
But they saw me very well. Covered in blood with a body hanging out a window on the other side of the room. They took me to the hospital and kept trying to question me, which was more then a little ridiculous since my throat was so swollen I could barely breathe, let alone talk. They did love the fact that instead of calling them I sat down and got blood all over my keyboard. Mind you they haven't questioned what I was doing on the computer. But that's ok cause I'm not even sure what possessed me to go the computer first. I think I was just trying to get back any sense of sanity. Blogging is sane. Slamming a window frame full of shattered glass on your ex is not. I was just trying so hard to process what happened, trying to get away from the panic.
But anyway the cops didn't ask what I was doing at the computer. I wonder if this blog is covered under that filter? Well I couldn't answer them anyway, not with my voice shot and my wrist and fingers swollen. So the doctors pumped me full of steroids and painkillers and my lawyer made them go away until communication was going to be a little easier.
By the time she let them talk to me, things were starting to shape up in my favor. There I was all beaten up again, after having been hospitalized for the same man attacking me only weeks before. My lawyer is completely confident that this will be ruled self defense and on the off chance that it isn’t there is no jury in the world that would convict me with all of the physical evidence there is for me right now.
The steroids gave me my appetite back. I’ve been eating like a horse which is saying a lot when you think about the fact that all I’ve been eating for the past few days is hospital food. And the painkillers I’m on have been knocking me out so I’m starting to catch up on my sleep. I looked at myself today and while I’ve got a good size bruise from where he hit me, my face is starting to look more like a woman then a living skeleton.
It’s the strangest feeling. For the first time in seven years, he’s not hovering over me anymore. Not physically or in my own head. I am battered and bruised, but it doesn’t truly hurt because he can’t hurt me anymore. I’m free.
Morningstar: I usually make it a point to ignore you. Your cartoon villainy makes it impossible to take you seriously, and your sheer fury makes talking with you worthless most of the time. However, I feel I at least owe you a response after the well meant if odd supportive comments you have given me in the past few weeks. So to answer your questions, no. I don’t feel powerful. Or excited. I feel weary. I feel sad that others had to suffer because of him. And I still feel sad for him. I don’t know what happened to him that made him into what he was, but considering the fact that those kinds of damages usually occur in childhood, I doubt he deserved it. I can pity the person he should have been while still being relieved that one of the monsters that killed my godchildren is gone.
Zero: You have got some serious freaking nerve! You send me those pictures, claim ignorance, but then ask for directions to find me? What the hell is your problem?
Rika: You know what go stalk your psycho boyfriend. Maybe then he'll leave me alone.
Thank you everyone else for the support. You guys are so wonderful and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you. I don’t think I’ll ever be ok with the fact that this happened, but I’ll get through it. It’ll be nice to go back home in a few days and know that no matter what else happens, he’s never coming for me again.
I guess its part of that whole perception filter thing. I never thought I would be using that phrase outside of discussing a Doctor Who episode, but my neighbor was asleep the whole time Tom and I were fighting and the whole time those crows were swarming, but he just happened to wake up after everything was done, look out his window, and see Tom’s body?
The cops too. They didn’t seem to really see what my house looked like. They looked right past the crow feathers scattered everywhere, the fact that every window was shattered, not just the one I had closed on Tom.
But they saw me very well. Covered in blood with a body hanging out a window on the other side of the room. They took me to the hospital and kept trying to question me, which was more then a little ridiculous since my throat was so swollen I could barely breathe, let alone talk. They did love the fact that instead of calling them I sat down and got blood all over my keyboard. Mind you they haven't questioned what I was doing on the computer. But that's ok cause I'm not even sure what possessed me to go the computer first. I think I was just trying to get back any sense of sanity. Blogging is sane. Slamming a window frame full of shattered glass on your ex is not. I was just trying so hard to process what happened, trying to get away from the panic.
But anyway the cops didn't ask what I was doing at the computer. I wonder if this blog is covered under that filter? Well I couldn't answer them anyway, not with my voice shot and my wrist and fingers swollen. So the doctors pumped me full of steroids and painkillers and my lawyer made them go away until communication was going to be a little easier.
By the time she let them talk to me, things were starting to shape up in my favor. There I was all beaten up again, after having been hospitalized for the same man attacking me only weeks before. My lawyer is completely confident that this will be ruled self defense and on the off chance that it isn’t there is no jury in the world that would convict me with all of the physical evidence there is for me right now.
The steroids gave me my appetite back. I’ve been eating like a horse which is saying a lot when you think about the fact that all I’ve been eating for the past few days is hospital food. And the painkillers I’m on have been knocking me out so I’m starting to catch up on my sleep. I looked at myself today and while I’ve got a good size bruise from where he hit me, my face is starting to look more like a woman then a living skeleton.
It’s the strangest feeling. For the first time in seven years, he’s not hovering over me anymore. Not physically or in my own head. I am battered and bruised, but it doesn’t truly hurt because he can’t hurt me anymore. I’m free.
Morningstar: I usually make it a point to ignore you. Your cartoon villainy makes it impossible to take you seriously, and your sheer fury makes talking with you worthless most of the time. However, I feel I at least owe you a response after the well meant if odd supportive comments you have given me in the past few weeks. So to answer your questions, no. I don’t feel powerful. Or excited. I feel weary. I feel sad that others had to suffer because of him. And I still feel sad for him. I don’t know what happened to him that made him into what he was, but considering the fact that those kinds of damages usually occur in childhood, I doubt he deserved it. I can pity the person he should have been while still being relieved that one of the monsters that killed my godchildren is gone.
Zero: You have got some serious freaking nerve! You send me those pictures, claim ignorance, but then ask for directions to find me? What the hell is your problem?
Rika: You know what go stalk your psycho boyfriend. Maybe then he'll leave me alone.
Thank you everyone else for the support. You guys are so wonderful and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you. I don’t think I’ll ever be ok with the fact that this happened, but I’ll get through it. It’ll be nice to go back home in a few days and know that no matter what else happens, he’s never coming for me again.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Shit shit shit shit
It hurts it hurts and he wanted it to be ding dong the witch is dead but it’s not and there’s blood on my hands and blood on my keyboard
hahahahahahahaha
Did you know that smacking yourself does actually work for hysteria? Ok took a few deep breathes, good air in, bad air out Kaylin. Trying to type this coherently but my hands are shaking and my mind is racing and the keyboard is getting sticky from the blood and FOCUS KAYLIN FOCUS!
I was sitting in my living room playing with a piece of quartz when the world fucking exploded. What looked like a giant black cloud burst in through my windows, shattering the glass, everything on the first floor of my house looked like it was being swarmed by this cloud.
The cloud started coming towards me and it wasn’t a cloud, it was birds, black birds, crows, so many, dozens of them screaming at me those harsh cawing sounds telling me to run and I did with feathers and beaks flying at my arms. I somehow had enough brains to shove the crystal into my pocket, and then tried to cover my face and make it to the door.
I opened the door and there was Tom. He was smiling and laughing as the crows swarmed around him, but they weren’t touching him they weren’t chasing him they just flew right past him out of my house. And that fucking bastard didn’t even look like he had been injured when Sage beat his ass. No eye patch, no fake eye, and here I am trying to run from a screaming avian nightmare with a pair of fucking cracked ribs courtesy of him. He looked like a monster out of a movie, shadows in his face, the crows surrounding him and I didn’t even think, I just turned and ran, better to run back into the flock of birds then to let him touch me. Well running was the intention at least.
My stupid stupid hair. Because of course I would be grabbed the same fricking way twice. He just reached out and grabbed a handful of it and used it like a rope to pull me out the door. I was screaming and clutching at my scalp trying to keep my hair from coming out at the roots as he dragged me over to him. He pulled me close, letting go of my hair before backhanding me across the face.
I fell on the ground and had a moment to realize the crows weren’t swarming anymore. They were sitting on the fence that separates my property from the house next door. Just sitting and watching, heads tilted and their black eyes reflecting the street lights. I had just enough time to think that they reminded me of the spectators at a gymnastics event, silent and tense, eagerly awaiting the outcome before Tom appeared over me and kicked me in the stomach.
I grabbed at my stomach and wheezed pathetically while he laughed at me. “You actually thought I was going to show up on the day I said I was? God you’re even dumber then I remember you being. This is what happens when you don’t have me to tell you what to do, Kitten. Of course if you had been smart enough to stay with me, none of this would have ever happened to you.”
He pulled out a gun and I felt every muscle in my body go limp. He brought the barrel to my face and used it to trace my cheeks, my nose, my eyes. Like a mockery of the way he used to stroke my face when he told me how much he loved me, that nothing would ever separate us. And remembering the way he used to do that got me so fucking pissed! All of those thoughts I had earlier of just letting him end it were gone. Not after everything he had done to me and the kids. I may not have had a chance at winning against a gun, but I wasn't going to just lay there and let him kill me without a fight.
I grabbed his wrist, dug my nails in hard enough to make him yelp, pulled my mouth to it and bit him as hard as I could. I can almost still taste the blood in my mouth. He yelled and dropped the gun. I grabbed it and somehow managed to get to my feet. I’ve never actually aimed a gun before and just hoped that not everything the movies show you are fake.My hands were shaking so badly I was grateful he's as large as he is. If your hands can't stay still, its probably easier to hit a bigger target.
The bastard looked at me pointing the gun at him and laughed. “Gonna shoot me Kaylin? You aren’t even brave enough to squish a spider and you think-“
The look on his face when I pulled the trigger should have been comical. The absolute shock should have been funny. But the fact that when I pulled the trigger nothing happened except a clicking sound made it anything but.
The shock only lasted for a second and then his face filled with this rage, so much rage I can’t even describe it. “TRY TO KILL ME?” He ran towards me, and grabbed the arm holding the gun, dragging me up on my tip toes to bring the gun to his temple.
“TRY TO KILL ME YOU FUCKING CUNT? THEN KILL ME!” He wrapped his hand around mine, shoving my fingers against the trigger hard enough to bruise them, forcing me to pull it with the result being that same empty clicking sound. “KILL ME!” Click again. “KILL ME!” And again. The fucking gun was completely empty. Bastard bluffed me with an empty gun. Should have known better. He wouldn’t want to use a gun. Not personal enough.
He pulled the gun out of my hand, bending my wrist the wrong way. He smacked me in the throat with the gun which was enough to make my vision go black. Couldn’t have been for too long because when it cleared up I was on the ground. I was dazed and having trouble breathing, but still alive.
He bent over next to me and dragged me up so that I was leaning with my back against his chest. He put a hand on each of side of my neck, with one arm behind it and one in front. The classic snap a neck pose.
Tom brought his lips next to my ear. “It’s time to sleep now Kitten. And once you’re gone next I’ll be going to visit your other friends. What are their names? Valerie and Cathy? I think they would enjoy our games don’t-“
Guess who saw nothing but red the moment he mentioned my friends. Guess who still had a crystal in her pocket? Guess who now had the pointed end of a large piece of quartz buried in his motherfucking eye? I think it might even have been the same one that Sage smacked last time.
He let me go immediately and let out this…howl? Roar? I don’t even know how to describe it, but it didn’t sound fucking human anymore. And that was when I realized that he wasn’t human anymore. Anything left had been taken away by it, by his master.
I had to do something. He was just going to keep coming after me and everyone I loved. I thought about Maggie and Jake. All my fault. He brought them to it to kill them just because he thought it would break me. If I had never brought this man into my life, they might still be alive. No not a man, I thought as I listened to him scream. He was an animal. Only an animal would do this to other people. A rabid animal. I kept chanting it to myself. Rabid animals have to be put down.
He was bent over clutching at his eye not even looking at me. We were right next to some of my ground level windows so I shoved him toward the closest open one. The frame was wrecked from the crow storm, the bottom hanging off, but there were still shards of glass stuck in it. I grabbed the window and slammed it shut on his neck.
He tried to push himself out of the window. He pushed himself off the glass far enough that I could see the blood shining on it in the moonlight. I slammed the window into him again. And again. And again over and over until my hands were bleeding and I was screaming like a bean sidhe with each slam of the frame.
I turned around and saw the crows. They were still staring, watching me give in to the same kind of animalistic rage that I had just put Tom down for. Judging me. They rose into the air and hovered just above my head before taking off and flying down the length of my driveway.
And there it stood at the edge of my driveway, the crows swarming around it. Arms outstretched, faceless head tilted to the side. Staring at me. It raised one of those too long arms and held it out towards me. Like an offer. Or an accusation. And I thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for things to be over. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
The crows continued to flock around it, like a giant black cloud until I couldn’t even see it anymore, I couldn’t even tell that they were birds there too many of them just a giant cloud of black. I took a step towards it.
It was like I had broken a spell by moving. The crows scattered in an explosion of feathers and once they were gone, it was no longer there either. I was alone with Tom.
He was dead. He is dead. His body is still just lying across my window. I can see it right now from where I’m typing. I guess I need to decide what to do with it.
I just remembered what a flock of crows is called. A murder. A murder of crows.
It hurts it hurts and he wanted it to be ding dong the witch is dead but it’s not and there’s blood on my hands and blood on my keyboard
hahahahahahahaha
Did you know that smacking yourself does actually work for hysteria? Ok took a few deep breathes, good air in, bad air out Kaylin. Trying to type this coherently but my hands are shaking and my mind is racing and the keyboard is getting sticky from the blood and FOCUS KAYLIN FOCUS!
I was sitting in my living room playing with a piece of quartz when the world fucking exploded. What looked like a giant black cloud burst in through my windows, shattering the glass, everything on the first floor of my house looked like it was being swarmed by this cloud.
The cloud started coming towards me and it wasn’t a cloud, it was birds, black birds, crows, so many, dozens of them screaming at me those harsh cawing sounds telling me to run and I did with feathers and beaks flying at my arms. I somehow had enough brains to shove the crystal into my pocket, and then tried to cover my face and make it to the door.
I opened the door and there was Tom. He was smiling and laughing as the crows swarmed around him, but they weren’t touching him they weren’t chasing him they just flew right past him out of my house. And that fucking bastard didn’t even look like he had been injured when Sage beat his ass. No eye patch, no fake eye, and here I am trying to run from a screaming avian nightmare with a pair of fucking cracked ribs courtesy of him. He looked like a monster out of a movie, shadows in his face, the crows surrounding him and I didn’t even think, I just turned and ran, better to run back into the flock of birds then to let him touch me. Well running was the intention at least.
My stupid stupid hair. Because of course I would be grabbed the same fricking way twice. He just reached out and grabbed a handful of it and used it like a rope to pull me out the door. I was screaming and clutching at my scalp trying to keep my hair from coming out at the roots as he dragged me over to him. He pulled me close, letting go of my hair before backhanding me across the face.
I fell on the ground and had a moment to realize the crows weren’t swarming anymore. They were sitting on the fence that separates my property from the house next door. Just sitting and watching, heads tilted and their black eyes reflecting the street lights. I had just enough time to think that they reminded me of the spectators at a gymnastics event, silent and tense, eagerly awaiting the outcome before Tom appeared over me and kicked me in the stomach.
I grabbed at my stomach and wheezed pathetically while he laughed at me. “You actually thought I was going to show up on the day I said I was? God you’re even dumber then I remember you being. This is what happens when you don’t have me to tell you what to do, Kitten. Of course if you had been smart enough to stay with me, none of this would have ever happened to you.”
He pulled out a gun and I felt every muscle in my body go limp. He brought the barrel to my face and used it to trace my cheeks, my nose, my eyes. Like a mockery of the way he used to stroke my face when he told me how much he loved me, that nothing would ever separate us. And remembering the way he used to do that got me so fucking pissed! All of those thoughts I had earlier of just letting him end it were gone. Not after everything he had done to me and the kids. I may not have had a chance at winning against a gun, but I wasn't going to just lay there and let him kill me without a fight.
I grabbed his wrist, dug my nails in hard enough to make him yelp, pulled my mouth to it and bit him as hard as I could. I can almost still taste the blood in my mouth. He yelled and dropped the gun. I grabbed it and somehow managed to get to my feet. I’ve never actually aimed a gun before and just hoped that not everything the movies show you are fake.My hands were shaking so badly I was grateful he's as large as he is. If your hands can't stay still, its probably easier to hit a bigger target.
The bastard looked at me pointing the gun at him and laughed. “Gonna shoot me Kaylin? You aren’t even brave enough to squish a spider and you think-“
The look on his face when I pulled the trigger should have been comical. The absolute shock should have been funny. But the fact that when I pulled the trigger nothing happened except a clicking sound made it anything but.
The shock only lasted for a second and then his face filled with this rage, so much rage I can’t even describe it. “TRY TO KILL ME?” He ran towards me, and grabbed the arm holding the gun, dragging me up on my tip toes to bring the gun to his temple.
“TRY TO KILL ME YOU FUCKING CUNT? THEN KILL ME!” He wrapped his hand around mine, shoving my fingers against the trigger hard enough to bruise them, forcing me to pull it with the result being that same empty clicking sound. “KILL ME!” Click again. “KILL ME!” And again. The fucking gun was completely empty. Bastard bluffed me with an empty gun. Should have known better. He wouldn’t want to use a gun. Not personal enough.
He pulled the gun out of my hand, bending my wrist the wrong way. He smacked me in the throat with the gun which was enough to make my vision go black. Couldn’t have been for too long because when it cleared up I was on the ground. I was dazed and having trouble breathing, but still alive.
He bent over next to me and dragged me up so that I was leaning with my back against his chest. He put a hand on each of side of my neck, with one arm behind it and one in front. The classic snap a neck pose.
Tom brought his lips next to my ear. “It’s time to sleep now Kitten. And once you’re gone next I’ll be going to visit your other friends. What are their names? Valerie and Cathy? I think they would enjoy our games don’t-“
Guess who saw nothing but red the moment he mentioned my friends. Guess who still had a crystal in her pocket? Guess who now had the pointed end of a large piece of quartz buried in his motherfucking eye? I think it might even have been the same one that Sage smacked last time.
He let me go immediately and let out this…howl? Roar? I don’t even know how to describe it, but it didn’t sound fucking human anymore. And that was when I realized that he wasn’t human anymore. Anything left had been taken away by it, by his master.
I had to do something. He was just going to keep coming after me and everyone I loved. I thought about Maggie and Jake. All my fault. He brought them to it to kill them just because he thought it would break me. If I had never brought this man into my life, they might still be alive. No not a man, I thought as I listened to him scream. He was an animal. Only an animal would do this to other people. A rabid animal. I kept chanting it to myself. Rabid animals have to be put down.
He was bent over clutching at his eye not even looking at me. We were right next to some of my ground level windows so I shoved him toward the closest open one. The frame was wrecked from the crow storm, the bottom hanging off, but there were still shards of glass stuck in it. I grabbed the window and slammed it shut on his neck.
He tried to push himself out of the window. He pushed himself off the glass far enough that I could see the blood shining on it in the moonlight. I slammed the window into him again. And again. And again over and over until my hands were bleeding and I was screaming like a bean sidhe with each slam of the frame.
I turned around and saw the crows. They were still staring, watching me give in to the same kind of animalistic rage that I had just put Tom down for. Judging me. They rose into the air and hovered just above my head before taking off and flying down the length of my driveway.
And there it stood at the edge of my driveway, the crows swarming around it. Arms outstretched, faceless head tilted to the side. Staring at me. It raised one of those too long arms and held it out towards me. Like an offer. Or an accusation. And I thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for things to be over. I don’t even know who I am anymore.
The crows continued to flock around it, like a giant black cloud until I couldn’t even see it anymore, I couldn’t even tell that they were birds there too many of them just a giant cloud of black. I took a step towards it.
It was like I had broken a spell by moving. The crows scattered in an explosion of feathers and once they were gone, it was no longer there either. I was alone with Tom.
He was dead. He is dead. His body is still just lying across my window. I can see it right now from where I’m typing. I guess I need to decide what to do with it.
I just remembered what a flock of crows is called. A murder. A murder of crows.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
He didn't show
Just what the title says folks. Monday came and went with no sign of Tom. I’m not sure what to think right now. I just keep sitting here playing with my favorite piece of quartz. I haven’t slept since early Sunday afternoon which is probably making that whole thinking thing even more difficult than normal. I’m hungry, but the idea of eating is making me nauseous. And my hands are shaking so badly that I couldn’t cook anything anyway.
I looked at myself in the mirror earlier. I mean really looked at myself. I’ve got such dark circles under my eyes that they look like those bruises you get when you’ve got a broken nose. I’ve lost weight and I’ve gotten so pale from not going outside anymore. My skin is pulled so tightly against the bones of my face that you would swear my cheekbones are going to cut right through it.
This isn’t living. What would have happened if Tom showed up and I did manage to stop him? It’s only a matter of time until it comes back. I haven’t seen it since the night it killed my godchildren. But I know I’m not free. How can any of us ever be free? I remember the night it grabbed my hair with it's tentacles and how it burned when it brushed against my scalp and it felt so dirty like slime like filth and it took days of showers before I could touch my own hair again without using gloves and how could I bear it if that thing touched me again?
I don’t know if it’s even worth fighting anymore.
I looked at myself in the mirror earlier. I mean really looked at myself. I’ve got such dark circles under my eyes that they look like those bruises you get when you’ve got a broken nose. I’ve lost weight and I’ve gotten so pale from not going outside anymore. My skin is pulled so tightly against the bones of my face that you would swear my cheekbones are going to cut right through it.
This isn’t living. What would have happened if Tom showed up and I did manage to stop him? It’s only a matter of time until it comes back. I haven’t seen it since the night it killed my godchildren. But I know I’m not free. How can any of us ever be free? I remember the night it grabbed my hair with it's tentacles and how it burned when it brushed against my scalp and it felt so dirty like slime like filth and it took days of showers before I could touch my own hair again without using gloves and how could I bear it if that thing touched me again?
I don’t know if it’s even worth fighting anymore.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
My mother called me today. Wants to know why I won’t come over for Easter dinner. Called bullshit when I said well it’s not my holiday. Pointed out that it’s never stopped me from coming over before. I bullshitted her some more, practically hung up on her. And I realized that if I want to try and keep her safe, I am never going to see my mother again. And then I had a few drinks and that made me think about what other things I am probably not going to live long enough to see or do.
Become a mother
The Doctor Who 50th anniversary
The final book of The Wheel of Time
The new Dark Tower Novel
Kingdom Hearts 3
The next Presidential election
The end of the recession
My dinner date with Cathy
My 31st birthday
Big day tomorrow. Two weeks, right Tom?
Let’s go.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
My attempt at analysis
Ok got the pictures scanned and brought them home on a flash drive. They charge way too much gods be damned money to scan things at Staples, but at least I got it done. Some of them are still going to be hard to see since they’re pencil drawings but here they are. I still don't understand what they mean, but here's what I know so far.
1. The first one is a woman standing in a bedroom. She appears to be holding a diamond or some other kind of gem in her hand. The word "Warned" is written to the left of her.
2. Next we have what appears to be the same woman holding a handful of dirt. The words "Do Not" appear, then a close up of the hand with the dirt starting to slip through the woman's fingers. Finally a close up of her face with...something reflected in her glasses and the words "Do You See" are written under her right eye.
3a. This almost appears to be an Operator symbol. It's a drawn circle, with a cross cut out through it instead of an X.
3b. But then we get to the other side of the page where there are some kind of...worms with teeth and limbs?
4. The fourth page shows the woman running from one of the worm things. There is another cut out to the left of the creature, this time creating a rectangle shape.
5. This one is almost definitely Zero's Bleeding Tree. There are two bodies hanging in the branches. A figure, most likely the woman again, stands at the bottom of the page, facing towards the tree. The word "End" is to the right of her.
I still have no idea what to think. But my question still stands. Remnant, how the hell do you know where I live? And we'll add a second question to this post. Since you have made a point of discovering my location, are you planning on adding my arm to your collection?
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