Be it ever so humble

 It’s nice having people in my house, even if it’s only going to be for another day or so. Sometimes with everything that’s happening, I forget what it’s like to just enjoy cooking a meal and watching other people enjoy it. But last night I got to make pot roast and sit in my dining room with my friends, instead of alone on the couch in the living room.

So yes I am home, I am as safe as I can get when I look out the window and see the faceless wonder staring at me, and I am nowhere near as damaged as I was the last time I disappeared. I’m still a little…I guess dazed would be a good word. I’m really not sure I understand everything that happened on Friday, but I’ll do my best to explain what I remember.

I sat in the little clearing for a few hours. Sage had said he was sending his astral form after me. I know I normally don’t believe in things like astral projection, but considering the fact that I had apparently been warped into Silent Hill, I was willing to suspend a lot of disbelief at that point. And I was expecting to see something come over to me and hopefully not be threatening.

What I was not expecting however was the slightly glowing blue woman that came floating up to me.Yup, Sage is apparently a woman when he runs around saving the world by existing in another world. He actually was not aware of this and was more then a little shocked when I mentioned it after everything was over.

So Girl!Sage guided me back to my house. Well the version of my house in this other place...you know what I don't a hundred percent understand it, so I'm just gonna stop trying to explain it. So we got back to the house. It was a mostly uneventful trip, just some of the leeches along the way. And when we got back even though it still in icky black fog land, I was just so damn grateful to see that my house was still there I could have cried. I was half convinced that it would have already been torn apart by the leeches.

Now that I was back it was time to get me out. Sage can explain what went on a little better then I can. All I know is that I had been told to focus on Ryuu with everything I had. Ok fine, visualization, I can work with that. That part was the easy part. Sage said I needed to focus my will on pulling myself towards her. It may be a few generations removed, but I've got Irish stubbornness going for me.

Everything seemed to be going fine until Girl!Sage turned to me and handed me a sword. A katana with a light blue glow to be precise. I tried to ask what the hell I was supposed to do with the damn thing but Girl!Sage had gone and disappeared!

I stood in the middle of my living room, doing my best to focus on Ryuu when the walls started crumbling around me. The fog started pouring into my house. And so did the leeches. Not in the amounts that I saw at the tree, but still enough to be a challenge. At that point I was assuming Sage had seen them coming and gave me the sword since it had better reach then the hedge clippers. Of course I had no idea how to even hold the damn thing correctly! A swordswoman I am not. I gripped it in both hands and missed almost as much as I hit the damn things, but at least the range kept them from getting close enough to bite me.

As I made my attempts at stabbing the leeches, I realized that there was a noise coming from behind me. I spun around and saw a shadow coming towards. A really large shadow. And there's no way I could ever fail to recognize that shadow. It was my favorite faceless stalker. Only it wasn’t. It was its shadow, but the shadow wasn’t connected to a body. And the shadow wasn’t a two dimensional flat thing like you normally see. It was fully three dimensional, it had substance, it had weight. And because timing is everything, as the shadow thing swooped towards me, there was an immense cracking sound and the fog around me started to fade. The darkness started to fade and I realized that Sage and Ryuu had made the ritual work and that not only was I about to be to be pulled home, but the shadow thing was about to hitch a bloody ride with me!

This is normally the point where I would begin to panic isn’t it? Well not this time. There was no way I had gotten that damn far just to let a fucking shadow take me down. So I raised the sword as the shadow charged me and screamed as I swung it as hard as I could.

I was probably more shocked than anyone else would have been when I saw that my swing had actually cut the damn thing in half. I stared at the pieces of it on the ground for a moment then lifted my head. And there were Sage and Ryuu, waiting for me. I smiled at them and walked out of one world and into the right one.

Sage asked me keep focusing for a bit longer. Apparently in order to get me out of there, he had broken open a hole in the fabric of time and space. I asked him if he was going to summon the TARDIS for me next, preferably with the Fourth or Eleventh Doctor. He started to glare at me, but then it changed to a grin

“You’re back just in time that we can watch the new episode together tomorrow. Now be quiet and focus so I can finish and we can order pizza.”

I am a little embarrassed to admit that at the mention of pizza, my stomach let out a growl so loud I didn’t even bother trying to pretend it wasn’t me. So I shut up and focused while he did…whatever it is he does. Still not quite sure on the details of that one.

I need to say, even before Maduin decided to grace us with titles, there has always been something right about the three of us together. I felt it when we first started talking together on the blogs, I felt it when we stood in my real living room together Friday night, hell I even felt it when I woke up in the hospital after the two of them saved my life. The three of us have always had the potential to be something together.And we didn't need titles for that potential to become something real.

Zero, I said I forgive you. I meant it at the time. Now I am going to seriously need to fucking reconsider that. That thing, that tree, it…

It still hurts.

I’m alive. Obviously. After all I’m typing. Or who knows, maybe I’m dead and this is a bloody pit stop before I get spun off the wheel for my next turn. But if I am dead, I hardly find it fair that I am this damn sore.

It was real. The Bleeding Tree is real. And it is just as terrible as Zero said. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start trying to help him carve people open for their bones, but I think I have a better idea now of why he’s so desperate. And before he says a bloody word, no murder is still not the right way.

I know I’m stalling. I don’t want to think about that thing. But since I’ve been gone for…how long have I been gone for? Anyway since I’ve been gone, I want you guys to know it wasn’t on purpose or without a reason.

The fog parted in front of me and I was able to start seeing a little bit. I couldn’t actually see the ground, but whatever was under my feet, was like walking on eggshells. Crackled and smashed with every step I took.

I tried to step backwards without turning around, keeping my eyes on where the fog had parted. It felt like a solid wall. I turned to try and look at it. It still looked like just fog, but it was all rock solid. And then it started pushing me forward into the open area.

As I was pushed forward, I started stumbling and tripping over tree roots. And the noise. There was this droning noise, piercing through my ears, making a bubble of pressure form in my head. And the longer I heard the droning, the stronger the pressure grew, trapped in my ears, behind my eyes, it felt like my head was going to explode.

It appeared so suddenly. Literally in between one footstep and the next. There were bodies in the tree. So many bodies, every branch held a body, stabbed right through the stomachs and chests.

It had eyes. That fucking tree had eyes. And the eyes had blood pouring out of them. I looked into those eyes and I was lost.

I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I vaguely remember my legs giving out, my knees hitting the tree roots as i stared at it blankly, completely unable to look away. My vision dimmed, everything but the tree started to fade away, to black out. Nothing else mattered, there was nothing but the tree. Its eyes were a world of color and noise, almost like the one time in high school I was talked into doing acid. I felt as if I was pulled inside of it, lights flashing past me as I traveled to the center of the universe my speed picked up, as I was hurtled further, deeper into the color, the light, and the sounds…

And my hand was burning.

I blinked and I could see again. Somehow during my own personal Disney Acid Sequence, I had fallen down to my knees and squeezed the bottle of pepper spray I was holding. Got it all over my hand. And motherfuck did it burn, but it was exactly what I needed to snap me out of that thing’s hold.

I could still hear that droning pushing me, trying to hold me, control me. It was so strong it was almost physical. I tried to get up from my knees, but instead fell down on my ass. And it was still there, trying to make me look again.

So I did what any woman about to die would do it. I spit in its eyes.

Well metaphorically speaking. What I actually did was pitch the bottle of pepper spray into the bastard’s eye socket.

I didn’t think it had any effect at first. No movement, no sounds, and I was ready to kiss my ass goodbye. But then the droning stopped. It was such a bloody relief that at first that it took me a few seconds to realize that I was not alone with my new friend.

What I hadn’t been able to see while the tree and I were playing peek a boo, was that it was covered in those monster leeches. Hundreds of them crawling on it, they were…fuck they were eating the blood that came out of it.

The ground started to shake and the trees branches swayed, waving the bodies around like they were party favors. As if they shared one brain all the leeches turned at the same moment. They stared at me. And then they swarmed at me.

Before I left the house I had grabbed an old shoulder bag of mine and filled it up with as much salt as it could hold. I had it swung across my chest and shoulder so that I would have easy access to it without having to carry a saltshaker around. I reached into the bag and started flinging handfuls of salt at those things. I grabbed Gram’s hedge clippers out of my belt and any leeches that made it past the salt I was flinging everywhere I stabbed in whatever area of their bodies happened to be closest to me.

The fog behind me was still completely solid. I wasn’t being allowed to go backwards and if I stayed where I was the leeches were eventually going to win just from sheer numbers. The tree just sat there, waiting for me to go down. I tried my best not to look at its eyes again, to keep focused on the nasties that were trying to take chunks out of my legs, but as I did my best to keep the tree from hypnotizing me again, I came to one not very happy conclusion.

I was going to have to run towards the tree.

I was starting to run low on salt and the leeches were starting to wear me down. A few of them managed to swipe their claws at my arms and it wasn’t going to be too much longer until they were in biting range. I let myself take one quick glance past the tree and turned myself in the direction I needed to go.

And I closed my eyes and ran like I haven’t run since high school gym.

I may have kept my figure pretty well since then, but that doesn’t change the fact that I am too damn old to be running like that.

Even with my eyes closed, I knew the moment that I was within touching distance of it. I could feel how the air got thicker with moisture from the blood, smell the iron. But I didn’t dare open my eyes, I just kept running. I could hear the leeches behind me, their claws skittering on the ground, the little slurping sounds they made.

I think I ran like that for about two minutes before I let myself open my eyes. The tree was gone. Some of the leeches were still following me, but only five or six, much more manageable. I stopped and dealt with them, and realized that I had arrived in some kind of a clearing.

It’s what looks like the remains of a campsite. Guess it’s safe to assume that I’m not the first person to get stuck in this place. There’s a tent and shreds of cloth. Blue jeans and what used to be a blanket. I was too tired to care. I crawled inside the tent and passed out. Just woke up a little while ago. I don’t even know how long I slept for. I’m clawed up, brain fucked, and have no idea if the tree or the leeches are still gunning for me.

But I’m alive.

Been walking for awhile can’t see more then two or three feet in front of me. Flashlight doesn’t make a dent in this damn fog. Got sick a couple of times from the way it feels on my skin but Ryuu was right eventually your brain just shuts down certain things for survival. The screams can get pretty bad. I’m so tempted to put on my earphones and listen to music but with my luck as soon as I did that would be when I hear something else besides the screams.

How long have I been walking? It feels like days, but it can’t be days, days wouldn’t pass without me hearing from Sage or Ryuu or Lucien. I try not to stop for too long. Just long enough to type out a sentence or two. Want to keep a record of what I see here. I can pretty it up later.

Haven’t seen any of the leeches. There were at least twenty crawling all over my house when I left, but none of them seemed to notice me. That’s fine, they may die easy, but their teeth are wicked sharp and I don’t want to end up trying to throw salt at a swarm of them.

I…fuck the fog just parted. Like fricking Moses and the Red Sea. I am not stupid I am not going that way.

What the fuck! The fog behind me it’s like a wall, its solid! I can’t go backwards I can’t go the sides. It’s pushing me. The ground it feels funny. Like eggshells. There’s some kind of a noise. A droning sou

Ready to Roll

Ok folks. Your favorite friendly neighborhood witch is ready to go. I’ve got my backpack full of survival stuff. Food, water, candles, crystals, and salt. Lots and lots of salt.

Things are starting to get bad in here. The walls look like they're starting to peel away and I keep hearing whispers. The power died a few hours ago and I don't think its safe to stay here anymore. 

I made a small test run earlier. Went out in the fog to see if it would hurt me. It doesn’t hurt. It feel fucking disgusting, like a tongue that was licking me, tasting my skin. And the smell is even worse when you’re out in it, but at least I know I can move through it. The screams don’t seem to get any louder so that’s a small blessing.

One of the leeches came at me. Deities that thing was even uglier up close. I was surprised at how fast it moved. It was almost on me before I had a chance to react, but I was smart enough to go outside with my weapon of choice and a backup. I decided to try and treat it like it really was a leech and I was right to do so. The salt worked even better than I could have hoped. A small handful thrown in its face and it just melted into a puddle of water. And if that hadn’t worked I had one of my bottles of pepper spray ready to go.

I’m currently feeling pretty confident about dealing with them. I’ve got tons of salt, I’ve got four bottles of pepper spray, and for anything else, I found my grandmother’s hedge clippers that were down in the basement.

I know that I might not be making anymore posts after this one. So while this isn’t a good bye post, I still want to say a few things.

Thank you. Some of you have been with me from the start of this blog, some of you are newer. But no matter how long you’ve been with me, I am eternally grateful for all the love and support I get.

Sage, Ryuu I’ve got my Blackberry, and it’s got a full battery. Comment at me if you come up with anything and I’ll do the same if I find anything that I think you guys should know. I love you two.

Cathy, you are the best friend I could have asked for these past few months. I know you’ll get your baby back. You’re too strong not too. I know you need to look for Tony, but please don't get hurt.  I love you so much.

Lucien for the love of everything will you stop trusting that damn Count? Listening to a proxy is NOT smart!!! If you get yourself killed I will find a way to resurrect you just so I can kick your ass. Love you baby brother.

Zero. I forgive you.

I’m off folks. Wish me luck.

Today's update is brought you to by the letters W, T, and F

Calmer now. Still fucking terrified, but thinking much more clearly. It’s amazing how much fear can help you work some clarity into your thoughts once you've managed to tell the panic attacks to piss off.

So after this conversation between my brother and me yesterday, I came to the realization that things are going to be more difficult then I originally thought. This probably isn't one of those labyrinth things that have happened to some of the other bloggers. As I understand it, the labyrinth is all in your head and I strongly suspect that this is not a hallucination. Not going to completely throw out the idea. There's still a chance that I could have been taken out of my home in my sleep and all this really is a hallucination of some sort, but the simplest explanations are usually the right ones. And for now the simplest explanation is that I really am somewhere else. I'm going to run with the idea that this not a hallucination, that way if it is real I don't do something stupid like not fight hard enough if I get attacked.

I saw one a little while ago. Zero's leech thing. It was crawling on the outside of my picture window. It looked at me. And it looked like it was smiling at me. Pretty fucked up, but still a hell of a lot easier to look at then the faceless wonder.

According to Zero's+ pictures I'm supposed to sit here and wait for those things to come crawling out of my walls and chase me out of the house.

Yeah fuck that. I'm not going to sit here and wait for some prediction made by my friendly neighborhood jade thief to come true. I sat around waiting to die once. Not happening again.

Sage, Ryuu, I'll wait a little longer for the two of you to get to my house...or my house in the real world...or my other house...whatever we're calling all this. Sage I really hope you've got some kind of an explanation about what's happening to me. You're the only person I know that specializes in this kind of a mess.

I'll try and give the two of you the rest of today to get there and start working this out. After that, I'm getting out of here. The electricity was working, but now things are starting to flicker on and off. I don't much fancy the idea of being alone in the dark with the possibility of those things getting in. And if those things find a way in, all bets are off. Besides, if there's a way out of this, I don't think I'm going to find it by hiding in the house. I've got a bag packed just in case Zero was a seer as well as a sage. If I do need to leave, I'll try to say something. At least my Blackberry still seems to be working.

I woke up this morning and the world was gone.

It was a normal enough night. I went to sleep and when I woke up I thought it was still night. Everything was pitch black. It took a minute for my mind to understand what I was seeing.

My house is surrounded by black fog. I think it might be the same black fog that I saw when I was in the Pine Barrens. And other than my house, there is nothing left here. I can’t see the sky, or the street, or the houses next to mine, or even my own backyard.

It looks like fog, but it doesn’t act like fog. It’s not coming in my windows or under the cracks around my doors. I can actually see it hovering over my windows, clinging to my outside walls.

It moves. Like a slug, it’s crawling slowly across my walls.

The more I hear it the more convinced I am it’s the same fog I saw back in February. It makes noise. It’s screaming. I can hear it screaming. And it smells like, oh fuck me, it smells like blood and-

Deities I feel so sick. Can’t use the toilets, got to save the water. Good thing I have the extra buckets I bought the last time my roof was leaking. Got to focus, was trying to talk about the fog, oh shit the smell-

It smells like blood and shit. It smells the way Tom’s body did when he died. And now that I think about it, it looks a lot like that swarm of crows too. Thick and black and never ending.

I’m so fucking scared right now. Nothing seems to be coming in, but I’m not sure how long I can hole up in here. I have some food left from when Cathy went shopping, but there’s not a lot of liquids. I have no running water, so once whatever is in my fridge and the toilets is gone, I’m screwed.

I don’t even know if posting this will work.

I…I think I just heard something on my roof.

Say something guys? Anything? Please tell me I’m not alone.

My packages arrived. Definitely worth paying the extra money for overnight shipping. I spent the morning experimenting with a few different recipes and came up with a lovely little toy.

What does a metal spray bottle, rubbing alcohol, baby oil, and ghost peppers create when combined in just the right proportions?

Some of the nastiest pepper spray ever created. The recipe calls for cayenne. I figure that cayenne isn't guarnateed to work, especially if your attacker happen to enjoy spicy foods, might have a tolerance. But ghost peppers are the hottest naturally grown peppers in the world. They're used to keep elephants away! Tolerance or not, if you're getting past pepper spray made from those babies, I probably wasn't strong enough to get past you to begin with. All I needed was a chance to see how it worked.

And unfortunately I got that chance last night.

He wasn't the smartest as far as proxies go. He actually jumped up in front of my kitchen window screen and yelled boo. Sadly for him, ever since Maduin's announcement the other night, I've been waiting for something like this and I had my new toy ready. And well to be honest, when he screamed boo, I shrieked and used the spray without even thinking. Maybe that means my survival instincts are getting stronger?

I sprayed him through the screen in the eye holes of his mask twice before the effect hit him. His scream was...not pleasant as he tore the mask off his face, rubbing helplessly at his eyes.

I kept the bottle held up as I listened to him scream in pain. I somehow managed to keep from dropping it and running outside to see if he was alright. Instead when he disappeared from the view of my kitchen window I ran into the living room to watch him from the windows there.

He ran off down my street, screaming about "the Master will have the bitch." The bitch I assume meaning me. That's fine. To quote one of my favorite authors, "Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman's got to hold on to." 

And then he ran into a car. A parked cop car. The cop got out of his car and while I couldn't quite make out what was being said, it was sufficient enough for the officer to cuff my would be attacker and drive away with him in the back of the car. It was a bit of a relief actually. I don't want to have to deal with attackers and police anymore. There's only so many times a woman can be a victim in the space of three months before they're going to start looking more closely into why the woman is being attacked that often.

He looked so young.  Or maybe I'm just getting old. I don't even know anymore. I doubt he even had his driver's license yet.

I am so relieved this stuff worked. Having to fight with a kid? It's been bad enough dealing with the hollowed adults. A kid is too much to even contemplate. So I think I'll drop that particular line of thought and instead celebrate my creation of a very nasty weapon that I can not only use from a distance, but unless the person has an allergy, should be completely effective as well as nonlethal. 

Fighting without killing. It can be done folks. You just need to get creative.