Friday, August 26, 2011

Well I'm here. I'm sober. Been sober for a few days actually, but just haven't wanted to even look at a computer. Being drunk was easier. If you really want to know about what your favorite witch was doing while attempting to drink herself into a coma, go read Ryuu's post.

I’m not going to take back anything I said while I was drunk either. A child murdering piece of trash like Mitch gets to live. A mass murdering psychopath like Morningstar gets to keep tearing across the continent. My brother’s evil cunt ex-girlfriend killed his unborn baby and she’s still running around. And all of them get to live another day to hurt someone else.

The monsters live and Cathy is gone. And that’s just the way of it, I shouldn’t be surprised anymore. But oh deities it hurts so badly. Somehow I always thought it would be me first. No I didn’t think. I knew it was going to be me first because she had to have her happy ending. She had to get her daughter back and she was going to inherit my house and live happily ever after with her daughter finally safe.

Being wrong has never been so painful in my life. It should have been me, not her. They should be able to have each other. No child should have to lose her mother.

And then I come back online and I see that Nick's gone, kidnapped by some bitch at the demand of his "friend" the Time Lord. And just to top everything off, I got a phone call from the police this morning. Maggie and Jake's mom has gone missing. She snapped really badly after they were killed. They had her in an institution for a while and they let her out under the care of her mother. Apparently she stopped taking her meds and started screaming all the time about haring the kid's voices. When her mother tried to call 911 to have her put away again, Melly picked up a chair and beat her own mother unconscious with it. She's been missing for weeks now, but the police just got the bright idea recently to find out if i had heard from her. It was nice being able to tell the police the truth for once. Why would she come to me? It's my fault her kids are dead. We both know although she only thinks she knows why.

Sometimes I think I deserve everything that has happened to me. Bad things happen to everyone I love. And I'm still here.


  1. Apparently, all this happened because YOU burned a set of post-it notes that would have given a way out of this mess. Instead, you chose to be all crazy in your drunken stupor.

    I'm not happy about this either.I feel really fucking guilty about it, but I had a figurative gun at my head. Give me a break!

  2. ... Welcome back.
    I'm sorry, I really am. I know exactly what you mean. Cam's gone too...
    What can we do but keep hoping and hope to whatever we have that we can keep someone else good safe?

  3. bad bad THINGS somethings your heart is worn eaten festering and He will take it take the pain take all from you.

    you shall know LOVE.

  4. She's not going to hurt anyone. Trust me if you can't trust her.

    And if you can't trust me either, I don't really blame you. I know all about feeling like I deserve what comes to me. Goddammit, Kay, I'm scared too.

    And Ellen, how the fuck do you know what those notes would've said?

  5. Part of the list of things Time Lord told me. This whole thing has been one big contingency he apparently threw together in case this happened.

  6. A contingency? A fucking contingency?! And WHAT, pray tell, was he planning for? What could he possibly want with the mother of Kay's godchildren? Because goddammit, you don't get to play with people like this! hints and instructions are one thing, but someone's LIFE is another!

  7. Wow, everyone seems fairly worked up here. Kay: just think, for every runner that dies, ten of His followers bite the dust as well. Not all monsters live, only the best of them.

  8. God. That sounds really awful. I can't even imagine it. I really can't.

    I know I'm a pretty weak advice giver, (especially with this stuff,) but I think that there are a lot of people who care and love you, and want to help you in anyway they can. And that there are still even more people who need help.

    I'm not telling you to do anything. Just maybe go easy on yourself, and deal with this one step at a time.

    You'll just drown in it otherwise.

  9. All I can say is that I hope you stay here, Kay. I don't want you to disappear too...