Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Shit shit shit shit

It hurts it hurts and he wanted it to be ding dong the witch is dead but it’s not and there’s blood on my hands and blood on my keyboard


Did you know that smacking yourself does actually work for hysteria? Ok took a few deep breathes, good air in, bad air out Kaylin. Trying to type this coherently but my hands are shaking and my mind is racing and the keyboard is getting sticky from the blood and FOCUS KAYLIN FOCUS!

I was sitting in my living room playing with a piece of quartz when the world fucking exploded. What looked like a giant black cloud burst in through my windows, shattering the glass, everything on the first floor of my house looked like it was being swarmed by this cloud.

The cloud started coming towards me and it wasn’t a cloud, it was birds, black birds, crows, so many, dozens of them screaming at me those harsh cawing sounds telling me to run and I did with feathers and beaks flying at my arms. I somehow had enough brains to shove the crystal into my pocket, and then tried to cover my face and make it to the door.

I opened the door and there was Tom. He was smiling and laughing as the crows swarmed around him, but they weren’t touching him they weren’t chasing him they just flew right past him out of my house. And that fucking bastard didn’t even look like he had been injured when Sage beat his ass. No eye patch, no fake eye, and here I am trying to run from a screaming avian nightmare with a pair of fucking cracked ribs courtesy of him. He looked like a monster out of a movie, shadows in his face, the crows surrounding him and I didn’t even think, I just turned and ran, better to run back into the flock of birds then to let him touch me. Well running was the intention at least.

My stupid stupid hair. Because of course I would be grabbed the same fricking way twice. He just reached out and grabbed a handful of it and used it like a rope to pull me out the door. I was screaming and clutching at my scalp trying to keep my hair from coming out at the roots as he dragged me over to him. He pulled me close, letting go of my hair before backhanding me across the face.

I fell on the ground and had a moment to realize the crows weren’t swarming anymore. They were sitting on the fence that separates my property from the house next door. Just sitting and watching, heads tilted and their black eyes reflecting the street lights. I had just enough time to think that they reminded me of the spectators at a gymnastics event, silent and tense, eagerly awaiting the outcome before Tom appeared over me and kicked me in the stomach.

I grabbed at my stomach and wheezed pathetically while he laughed at me. “You actually thought I was going to show up on the day I said I was? God you’re even dumber then I remember you being. This is what happens when you don’t have me to tell you what to do, Kitten. Of course if you had been smart enough to stay with me, none of this would have ever happened to you.”

He pulled out a gun and I felt every muscle in my body go limp. He brought the barrel to my face and used it to trace my cheeks, my nose, my eyes. Like a mockery of the way he used to stroke my face when he told me how much he loved me, that nothing would ever separate us. And remembering the way he used to do that got me so fucking pissed! All of those thoughts I had earlier of just letting him end it were gone. Not after everything he had done to me and the kids. I may not have had a chance at winning against a gun, but I wasn't going to just lay there and let him kill me without a fight.

I grabbed his wrist, dug my nails in hard enough to make him yelp, pulled my mouth to it and bit him as hard as I could. I can almost still taste the blood in my mouth. He yelled and dropped the gun. I grabbed it and somehow managed to get to my feet. I’ve never actually aimed a gun before and just hoped that not everything the movies show you are fake.My hands were shaking so badly I was grateful he's as large as he is. If your hands can't stay still, its probably easier to hit a bigger target.

The bastard looked at me pointing the gun at him and laughed. “Gonna shoot me Kaylin? You aren’t even brave enough to squish a spider and you think-“

The look on his face when I pulled the trigger should have been comical. The absolute shock should have been funny. But the fact that when I pulled the trigger nothing happened except a clicking sound made it anything but.

The shock only lasted for a second and then his face filled with this rage, so much rage I can’t even describe it. “TRY TO KILL ME?” He ran towards me, and grabbed the arm holding the gun, dragging me up on my tip toes to bring the gun to his temple.

“TRY TO KILL ME YOU FUCKING CUNT? THEN KILL ME!” He wrapped his hand around mine, shoving my fingers against the trigger hard enough to bruise them, forcing me to pull it with the result being that same empty clicking sound. “KILL ME!” Click again. “KILL ME!” And again. The fucking gun was completely empty. Bastard bluffed me with an empty gun. Should have known better. He wouldn’t want to use a gun. Not personal enough.

He pulled the gun out of my hand, bending my wrist the wrong way. He smacked me in the throat with the gun which was enough to make my vision go black. Couldn’t have been for too long because when it cleared up I was on the ground. I was dazed and having trouble breathing, but still alive.

He bent over next to me and dragged me up so that I was leaning with my back against his chest. He put a hand on each of side of my neck, with one arm behind it and one in front. The classic snap a neck pose.

Tom brought his lips next to my ear. “It’s time to sleep now Kitten. And once you’re gone next I’ll be going to visit your other friends. What are their names? Valerie and Cathy? I think they would enjoy our games don’t-“

Guess who saw nothing but red the moment he mentioned my friends. Guess who still had a crystal in her pocket? Guess who now had the pointed end of a large piece of quartz buried in his motherfucking eye? I think it might even have been the same one that Sage smacked last time.

He let me go immediately and let out this…howl? Roar? I don’t even know how to describe it, but it didn’t sound fucking human anymore. And that was when I realized that he wasn’t human anymore. Anything left had been taken away by it, by his master.

I had to do something. He was just going to keep coming after me and everyone I loved. I thought about Maggie and Jake. All my fault. He brought them to it to kill them just because he thought it would break me. If I had never brought this man into my life, they might still be alive. No not a man, I thought as I listened to him scream. He was an animal. Only an animal would do this to other people. A rabid animal. I kept chanting it to myself. Rabid animals have to be put down.

He was bent over clutching at his eye not even looking at me. We were right next to some of my ground level windows so I shoved him toward the closest open one. The frame was wrecked from the crow storm, the bottom hanging off, but there were still shards of glass stuck in it. I grabbed the window and slammed it shut on his neck.

He tried to push himself out of the window. He pushed himself off the glass far enough that I could see the blood shining on it in the moonlight. I slammed the window into him again. And again. And again over and over until my hands were bleeding and I was screaming like a bean sidhe with each slam of the frame.

I turned around and saw the crows. They were still staring, watching me give in to the same kind of animalistic rage that I had just put Tom down for. Judging me. They rose into the air and hovered just above my head before taking off and flying down the length of my driveway.

And there it stood at the edge of my driveway, the crows swarming around it. Arms outstretched, faceless head tilted to the side. Staring at me. It raised one of those too long arms and held it out towards me. Like an offer. Or an accusation. And I thought, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for things to be over. I don’t even know who I am anymore.

The crows continued to flock around it, like a giant black cloud until I couldn’t even see it anymore, I couldn’t even tell that they were birds there too many of them just a giant cloud of black. I took a step towards it.

It was like I had broken a spell by moving. The crows scattered in an explosion of feathers and once they were gone, it was no longer there either. I was alone with Tom.

He was dead. He is dead. His body is still just lying across my window. I can see it right now from where I’m typing. I guess I need to decide what to do with it.

I just remembered what a flock of crows is called. A murder. A murder of crows.


  1. The crows were a nice touch, I'll give him that. CONGRATULATIONS Kay. YOU KILLED A MAN. How does the blood on your hands feel? I bet it feels soooo GOOD. A sweet release of all that hatred you had for him. You did the right thing by killing him.

  2. Goddamn shippers. NONE OF US WOULD BE CAUGHT DEAD PERFORMING SUCH VULGAR ACTS WITH FATHER. Except maybe Tom. But he is dead now, so no worries. I am guessing that envelope belongs to Naomi. I am afraid I do not know her address, but then she did not either until recently. So sorry Ray Ray you will have to keep the fan art. Although what will dear Miss Avalesca think when she finds it...

  3. Kay. Call the police. After what happened, the way you were fighting for your life, no one will blame you. Let them clean it up and sort it out.

    And Ignore Morningstar. He's a douche.

    Now maybe you get to move on with your life.

  4. Am at hospital neighbor saw body and called cops. Can't breathe very well they said I have minor tracheal edema from when he hit me in the throat. Did I spell that right? So tired. Cops wanna talk to me but my lawyer made them leave. Gonna sleep now.

  5. oh my god, Kay... oh my god i'm so sorry. but at least now he's gone. and whatever else happens, it can't be worse than what you've already gone through.

    on the more mundane side of things, you do have the law on your side. he was in YOUR house and you acted in self-defense. that much, at least, will be alright.

  6. Input accepted. Response: Interesting. Reevaluating threat level. Revised threat level: Fantastic.

  7. I really do wish I knew what to say. I'll just shut up. One thing is: At least sicko's gone now.

  8. ...This night I'm specially praying for you again. And I will do penitence for you, Little Sister.

  9. penitence is for people who've done something wrong. Self-defense against a proxy psychopath? I just don't see it.

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. She could have just maimed him. Called the police, had the bastard locked away forever and ever. But she chose death. She chose to kill him.
    Remember Scott? Notice how he seems much more apathetic towards killing now? Do you recall that he was horrified after his first kill? Its because he realized that he liked it. He liked the power of choosing life and death. I suspect Kay, after having no power against this man for so very long, enjoys the power too. The closest a human can ever get to a God.

  12. ..And you continue challenging God, missing brother.

    Indeed Amalgamation, it was for self defense. But as you might ha noticed from the psycho child here, is too easy to fall in doubt.

    ''Your cross may be heavier now, but you have friends who can help you carrying it for you''

    But well, I think I said too much catholic stuff in front of you Amalgamation. I will abstain to comment this blog. And continue my praying for sister in silence.

  13. A window frame? Now that is some creative murdering!

  14. Rabid animal is right. Ignore the Slender One's drones and don't let it get to you, Kay. You saved not only yourself but all of that malevolent bastard's future innocent victims. And as for Morningstar's special brand of bullshit, don't buy the hype. No matter what, you always have a choice. Nothing is inevitable.

    "Every Man and Woman is a Star."

    Love Under Will

  15. First off, Keiken, do not call her your "Little Sister." The only person who can call her sister is ME, her real brother.

    Second, MorningStar, the police can only do so much. Since Tom was a willing slave of the tall one, that means he could easily be taken out of jail at anytime, just to come after Kay yet again. Ultimately, death for Tom was the only choice.

    Third, Setoth, I thank you for your insight here. You are right, my sister saved future victims from Tom's evil ways. She is a hero in her own right.

    Finally, Kay, I am so proud of you. You were able to finally overcome your fears of Tom and end not only his life, but his control over you and how he made you feel and act. I know it's such a traumatizing event, but in the end, it is for the best. You are free of Tom finally.

    I love you, sister.

  16. @Keiken: For the record, I will challenge God, the Devil, Bruce Lee, and Chuck Norris at the same time if that's what it takes. There's what's right, and there's what's wrong, and if you know what's right, you just can't abide by what's wrong. CHALLENGE god? If what you say is the only path that god allows us, then I'll destroy him with my bare fucking manly hands.

    @Setoth: NICE. =D

    @Morningstar: Blah Blah Blah. Not everyone is so skilled that they can walk out of a confrontation with the other guy knocked out. This was how it had to be.

  17. ...Sorry, that line was for missing brother, not you. ...

  18. I just caught up. I'm sorry for what you had to do. You seem the type that this kind of situation should never been laid upon, geniunely kind and considerate of others. However, I will congratulate you. You did the right thing... and rather creatively, if I do say so myself.

    Keep your head. Stay safe.

  19. @Lucien: You're lucky to have such a brave sister, and she's lucky to have such a caring brother.

    @AmalgamationSage: You're a man after my own heart. An evil God is no God at all. Having faith in one's self is more important than blind servitude.

  20. If your God is evil, then you slay him.

  21. I

    Kay, I'm...I'm not sure if I'm three days or two days late to the game (stupid timezones), but...I'm both sorry and glad. Sorry that you had to kill Tom, and glad that you're free of him.

    I'm so sorry all of this has happened to you.

  22. And your complaint would mean something if you weren't being an anonymous coward.


    Oh well I've been meaning to remember to turn off anonymous commenting anyway.

    *goes to change her account settings*