Thursday, March 17, 2011

Doing better

Nobody wants to be a hero. Not a real one. The more I read these blogs, the more I realize how many people here are or were heroes and I think that every single one of them would trade it in a heartbeat to get back what taken from them.

I don’t mean “The Hero” that everyone was hoping would appear and save us all. I mean on smaller levels. Damien O’Connor saving that kid at the supermarket, Zero willing to sacrifice himself on the Solstice to weaken it, Cathy walking into the woods by herself to try and get her child back, Zeke Strahm going to that warehouse knowing it would probably kill him, and so many other examples that to try and list them all would need to be a post by itself.

My point is that so many of us have done things that can be considered heroic. And it breaks us down just as strongly as it does. Maybe that’s part of what it wants? Maybe it wants us to fight back. Some hunters need the thrill of the chase more then the kill itself. It takes so much from us our loves, our minds, and finally our lives.  But some of us it kills immediately. Some of us it stalks for months. And some people manage to keep going for years.

That shows me that we are capable of beating it. Which leads me to my next bit of thought.

I’ve been thinking about what Cheska told everyone. How the cure is no longer working and that she believes it is because Jeff died and his blood was a key component. And right now, contemplating the implications of that theory has me ecstatic. No, the fact that the cure no longer works is not what made me ecstatic. The fact that this is probably the closest confirmation I will ever get to some kind of magic working on this thing is what has me bouncing like a child. If Jeff’s blood had continued to work after his death, it would be more scientific in nature. But he died and whatever immunity he had disappeared. That screams blood magic to me.

I personally have never practiced blood magic, preferring to enjoy a more nature and energy based way of existing. But one of my dearest friends before all this began was a practitioner of that sort and I have nothing but respect as well as a bit of healthy fear for it.

A few other things have managed to switch on light bulbs in my brain in the past few days. Thank you Amalgamation Sage for being not only a voice of encouragement, but a source of my current inspiration.

I might have something solid to start working with again, key word being might. The biggest problem is that this is something I won’t be able to experiment with. When the time comes it will either work or it won’t. And I’m not going to reveal much right now. I’m sorry for being secretive, but I’ve always maintained that talking about what I’m planning to do ahead of time will probably ruin any chances I have of it working. The Quislings are out and about after all.

No major updates to report on my personal stalking. I’m still just as paranoid, but I haven’t actually had any sightings of it for a little over a week now. Every shadow I jump at turns out to be nothing.  The trees really are just trees. No more threatening phone calls either.

Remnant, I don’t know if you saw or even if you’ll see this post either, but I changed my answer to your riddle. I do hope you'll talk with me at some point.


  1. I'm glad to hear I was helpful. I don't know what I did, but I hope it helps your plan. ^^;;;

    One thing I do know: Whatever happens next, you can handle it.

  2. We should try talking in private at some point.

  3. is an easy way to reach me. In theory, it's got these google IM things that I've never really played around with before. Drop me a line.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Well I never was good at riddles. I appreciate you letting me know at least.

  6. Kay. If its what we discussed...

    I want in.

    If not, I need someone to tutor me. Mortal things aren't working anymore.

    I am still prepared.

  7. Mommy is very brave. i'm glad you see that.

    i think it's kinda cool that you're a witch. like harry potter only without the school and wands. i like harry potter. c:

    why won't remnant answer your questions? that's rude. :/

  8. @Slice Mmmm...sort of but not really. Sorry to be so cryptic, but we're always being watched aren't we?

    @Cynthia I've seen how brave your Mommy is since the moment I started reading her blog.

    I like Harry Potter too. I do have a wand, but Harry's wand is definitely cooler then mine is.

    And as far as Remnant, it's his choice. I've said that I would like to help him and that's the best I can do.

  9. If I can help in any way.

    Let me know.

  10. i was referring

    to your overall theory

    did not see that

    last part

    very good

    the authors


  11. Why do you think my theory is wrong? I welcome any additional info. A theory proven wrong is one less wrong path to take.

  12. because

    i wanted to be a hero


    and i know

    for certain

    others are trying


    to be heroes

  13. we have a good



    most of us

    it is the impure that

    must be destroyed


    my head hurts

    i am done for today

  14. Nice to see someone else reaching out to the alternative arts when dealing with the Slender One. I'm Setoth, a practicing Thelemite, and from what I've read you and I might be able to help one another. Given we study different versions of the same Art and apply them to our long-limbed mutual foe, sharing and reporting our own experiences and ideas to one another could drastically cut down the amount of time required to collect information. It certainly helps that we seem to have different focuses and inclinations, as I can assure you I have no objections to the usage of my own blood in ritual magick.

    If such a partnership interests you, feel free to contact me. If not, I did record some of my theories and experiences at my blog. Consider those services free of charge.

  15. @Remnant You give a fascinating point of view. I think my theory has merit, I just need to stop viewing it in absolutes. Which really it was quite silly of me to do that to begin with. I know that most people I talk with don't want to be heroes. They want to not die, or reclaim a loved one. Which in my opinion does make them heroes, unwilling but heroes none the less. And really the fact they do what needs to be done in spite of everything, to fight every step of the way and at the end of it all still spit in that monster's face...I've always been a bit of a misanthrope, thinking the opposite of what you said, that most people did not have a good nature. If nothing else my stalking by it has shown me that I am wrong. And no matter what happens to me at the end of this, I will never regret that lesson.

    Enough of my babbling for now. Perhaps we can speak about this more another day? I hope your head feels better.

  16. @Setoth I've never actually conversed with a Thelemite before and will admit to being quite ignorant as to the majority of your beliefs and practices, although from skimming over your blog, yours seem to be much more intricate then mine. The alchemical aspects are absolutely fascinating.

    As far as sharing and reporting, I never give detailed previews as I know for a fact that two of its followers watch my blog, and who knows how many others watch it without my knowledge. When it comes to things I have already tried however, my blog is an open book. Feel free to skim through, or if you need I can just link you to the pertinent posts, your choice.

    Granted between my job, my recent guests, and some reluctantly admitted cowardice after my last experiment failed drastically, I have not been as on top of finding things to throw at it as I should be, but I am working on correcting that.

  17. I don't mind strolling through for a read. Never know if some rogue detail from another post might trigger a new thought or idea. Thanks for the offer though.

  18. ...I may have some Roman ceremonies and prays, if you which to compare for answers too..

    (I feel like if I shouldn't say this... :s)

  19. Oh, Miss Kay. We have. . .so much catching up to do? Tell me, oh please oh please tell me you haven't forgotten me. I would be saddened.

  20. I do remember you Peter. I've thought about you several times since the day we spoke. Your name change does seem to hint that I was correct to be worried.

  21. You're still. . .so kind? It warms my heart.

  22. Well thank you. Peter, you said we need to catch up? Are you alright?

  23. No it would seem your friends are very. . .upset?

    Brother cries.

  24. Yes my friends are upset, but it will pass. Why is your brother crying?

  25. He does not. . . believe?

    My predicament is out of his understanding. Blessings are real. Noland doesn't think so.

  26. And what blessings have you received?

  27. Sorry Noland. You don't get to come on my blog and insult me, no matter what you may be going through. Comment deleted. If you would like to speak with me like an adult, you are more then welcome to try again.

  28. Speak with you like an adult? You say that like you're more mature than me. At least I don't try to suck innocent people with Families into some sort of. . .freaky whatever this is. God.

    I'm sorry. I'm calm now. Just stop telling my brother whatever you're telling him.

  29. I will say that I'm more mature then you when you show up on my personal blog with insults and false accusations. Try to get your facts straight before hurling either of them next time, won't you?

    I'm sorry for what is happening to your brother, but I can assure you that I have nothing to do with it. Your brother came to my blog several weeks ago fairly hysterical and asking for help. I told him I would help if I could, but he never responded. I had no further contact with him until the comments that you can clearly see above.

    Each time I have had contact with your brother, he has come to me and I have not told him anything other then my offer of help when he requested it. Again, my heart aches for what both you and he is going through, but any further comments that attempt to insult or accuse me of harming him will be deleted.

    Despite your nastiness towards me, I do wish you the best. Under similar circumstances, I would be probably acting in the same if not insulting then at least confrontational manner, hence why I am allowing your current comment to stand.

    Good luck.

  30. So cold cold cold cold coooooold, Kaylin. Don't get Noland's hopes up. And Zuckerman, don't worry. Soon Acid will surface and you and Peter can be together. . .forever. . .in hell

  31. Oh Yggy. I am so sorry for you.