Sunday, February 27, 2011

It's been an interesting weekend to say the least

So I have a houseguest. It's unique. There's a giant black van parked down the street from the house, he took off his jacket and I could see that yes there were guns, and when he came back this morning from making a new friend he was covered in blood and mentioned that his shoulder had been dislocated. So not the kind of person one usually expects to come visit.

And yet I feel almost safe. It's silly really. I know that his guns aren't going to do shit to save me, that if my favorite stalker decides that tonight's the night he wants me to go, bullets aren't going to help me one bit.  But I'll take any form of comfort lately, even if it is false.

The first night he got here, after we said our good night's, I woke up hearing what I've started thinking of as the suicide music. The longer I try to pretend it isn't there, the worse it gets. It's becoming a normal night for me sadly. Wake up, hear music, sit in window, watch faceless, spend night clawing at my own skin to keep myself from going outside to it, eventually pass out in window despite trying everything possible not to. On the plus side, the crystals still seem to be keeping me from going walking in my sleep. They just don't seem to have the same beneficial effect on my conscious mind.

Anyway, when I had my normal wake up call happen on his first night here, I tried to be quiet, but he woke up anyway. And he sat with me the whole night while we watched it watch us. And when I fell asleep, he must have carried me up to my bed. It was nice change waking up there rather then waking up in my window with a stiff neck like I've been doing. He's very much a gentleman, the kind of guy that doesn't seem to exist anymore. All though I suppose that must be rather at odds with the guns and blood.

There was a bad spot today. I know that I've hinted here and there that I had a rather unpleasant romantic past. Well that past came back to haunt me today in the form of my old engagement ring showing up on my front steps. Poor Mr. Spender brought it in while I was still sleeping, thinking it was a gift someone had left for me, which isn't entirely untrue. It was a gift. A completely unwanted gift, but a gift. Imagine my heart attack when I woke up and thought my ex had somehow broken in while I was asleep and alone in the house to leave it for me. That was a pretty unpleasant freak out. 

He is a surprisingly soothing person to be around. He was able to calm me down and I'm not sure where he put the ring, but I trust that its somewhere I won't run across it randomly. Here's hoping at least.


  1. Beyond soothing, Kay. That man is offensive, rude, abrasive, and everything that sets me on edge. Hell, he reminds me of my brother, albeit slightly smarter.

    But the biggest part of is that he's capable. He's one of those few guys in the world you can stand behind, and know without a doubt that you'll be fine. I've saved his ass once, and he's reciprocated, but...still. Just knowing that the guy's nearby makes me feel that much better.

    I think we all know guns won't do anything to him. But what I know is that, even if they don't, Spender will have something that does. Or he'll find it. If he has to go halfway across the world to get it, then he will.

    You couldn't be in safer hands, dear. Don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise.

  2. Interesting to see differing points of view. Offensive, rude, abrasive? He's been anything but. Instead I find him to be kind, mannerly, and quite a gentleman. Other then getting blood on my carpet when he came back from his...whatever it was. What is with men and the need to beat the ever living shit out of each other?

    However we do agree on one thing. It makes me feel better that he's near.

  3. That's because men are naturally different around women. Trust me, the Spender I saw chain smokes, blows it in people's faces, shoves guns in every other person's face, and does things as much on paranoia as logic.

    But goddammit, that man was made of steel. He didn't shake even once. I really needed that. I think all of us do. I just...

    You lucky bitch, Kay. Make the best of him before he drives off while you're asleep.

  4. Honestly, I expected this to be filled with more ranting about me and more gun jokes from Zach.

    Strangely, I'm touched by both of you. It actually kind of hurts. Or that could be the cut on my chest again. I'm not -entirely- certain...

    Regardless, you're both right. Around Kay, I want to protect her. Around you, Zach, I was more concerned with keeping you on your toes. Kay got to be with the person who isn't suspicious everyone is going to shoot him in the back, however.

    And I wouldn't drive off when she's asleep. That's just completely uncivilized. I'd leave a rose on her pillow at least.

  5. I think the last time someone called me a "lucky bitch" it was when I got the last purple Coach purse at a 50% off sale. I'm hoping you mean it in a bit more friendly way then the last person did.

  6. I know you're joking Zach and I chuckled a little myself, but just as fair warning; You call Kay a bitch again and I promise I will drive my van into you and give your kneecaps a candygram.

    This is where I make one of those emoticon things to show I mean business.


  7. You...I...Spender, I will repeat what was once said.

    OLD. What is that even supposed...

    Nevermind. I'm not going to strain my mind any further.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go walk into a forest more closely connected to Slenderman than anything I've ever seen before, and openly piss off an eldritch abomination. I guess it's my turn to do the emoticon thing.


  8. @Zach Watch it with the "old" comments on my blog, if you please child.

    @Spender I don't believe a kneecapping will be necessary. Why is that so often your first response?

  9. It works for the Mafia...

    Fine. I'll behave dear. Only because you said not to.

    I do notice you did not deny me my vehicular assault. I think our future together is promising on these grounds alone.

  10. You will behave yourself or you will be going back to granola bars for dinner.

  11. ...Oh god please no. I'll be a good. I'm sorry. No more snark.

    Don't take away the delicious. I needs it.

  12. Hello Cynthia, I think this might be the first time you've come over to my blog instead of me coming to yours. And yes other then your Daddy coming to visit far too often for my taste, I am okay.

    And are you okay?

  13. it is isn't it? c:

    i am perfectly fine. things are going to get messy though so i guess i might not be in a little while. i don't know. but i am okay right now and that's all that matters.

  14. I'm glad you're ok. I worry about you and your mommy. I don' suppose you'd be willing to tell me why things are going to get messy?

  15. weeeellllll some things are going to happen that aren't going to be fun at all because they have to happen.

    my Family and family are going to get very involved. and then there's more stuff that's going to happen, but i can't tell you anything else. sorry kay. :c

  16. That sounds quite unpleasant. i know I can't stop you, but I wish you wouldn't do that.

  17. sometimes i wish i wouldn't either.

  18. I'm sad for you now. Maybe someday I'll get to give you a hug.